First song of 2016! Written between November and December of 2015! Words about trying to be a better person! Heck yeah, demos!
Messages in breath and glass that fingers trace let our thoughts out freely; a sleeve to the cold window's a quick eraser.
So December's keeping secrets again, just like old times.
Welcome back, my good friend.
Another night, another round, another strategy session sketching the blueprints of a perfect love.
"There's so much work to being effortless," she says,
so I say, "The only question that'll matter on that day is the one with the answer you're certain of."
But if nothing ever helps enough—these lists, they expand so fast—then let me at least find some way to calm her down, to reel her back, saying,
"Hey, how was your day? What do you need?
I wanna clear your vision. You deserve to see this happily."
I'm run through with the knives of kindness. The shredded remnants of who I was, they shiver with each passing breeze, and I'm run through with the knives of kindness, so now I'm asking the world, "Do you wanna dance with me?"
Lost last year on the thought of how badly I had to grow out of myself, but this year flipped my vision—saw all the ways I had to grow into myself.
It was the struggle that kept me reaching. It was the struggle that gave me drive. It was a quiet, contented meaning I felt I needed to keep me alive.
And it was a terrible lesson, learning best how to cast all that crushing care aside. I let myself fall away. I try to turn to light.
So if I still can't love this—if that's just not allowed—then let me at least try something to mitigate all this suffering, saying, "Hey, how have you been? What do you need? Of course I wanna see you through, but if that's more than I can do, then I will wait. I will wait (here), so hold on 'til I can hear that you're happy."
Run through with the knives of kindness. The shredded remnants of who I was, they shiver/shimmer with each passing breeze, and I'm run through with the knives of kindness. Now I'm asking the world, "Do you wanna dance with me?"
released February 9, 2016
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